just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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