They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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