I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
