Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
