u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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