It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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