Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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