his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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