My sheets look like a crime scene.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
