He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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