everyone is single if you try hard enough
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
