Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
