Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
