You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
