Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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