oh god the rape fog is back!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
