There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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