Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
4 words: hood of his car
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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