it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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