"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
