Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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