I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
