I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
