He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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