I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
