look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
