Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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