Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
