I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have fence marks all over my body
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
