I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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