Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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