Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it glows. i had to have it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
