I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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