oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
