We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize