a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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