He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
