Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
