Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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