I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
