loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
