i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
