great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize