The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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