So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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