He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
