Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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