He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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