I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
