she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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