Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
