New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
