So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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