If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
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My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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