You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
