No I am not eating basil off your cock
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
