omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
