Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
