So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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