Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
