CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
