I could make wine with my vomit
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
