You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
