life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Who died my cat blue again?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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