I feel great
I just peed on a car
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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