I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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