To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
