Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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