i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
