Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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