your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
