No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
