I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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