after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
